building the universe

I developed an eye twitch for the first month of work.  It was isolated to my left eye and I pointed it out to Andrew as many times as I could.  Perhaps it was the adjustment to night shifts, or it could have been the natural stress of the unknown ICU world that I was diving into headfirst.  Most likely it was a combination of the two.  It now frequents about once a week just to remind me that it can, but for the most part my vibrating eyelid is at bay.

The job is going well.  Really well.  It helps that I have no shame asking even the most basic questions, and I have lowered my expectations of knowing everything all at once.  Both have lowered the stress, and therefore, the twitching.  In fact, I enjoy the night shifts.  Sure, I am slightly disorientated during my non-hospital life and by 4am on a shift I have a stare-off with the wall, but I definitely prefer the working environment of nights.  There really is no ‘sleeping’ or ‘chill time’ in the ICU, but there are far fewer professionals bustling around and fewer distractions in general.  Oh, and there’s the shift differential.  A few extra dollars an hour is invited.

In the time between shifts I catch up on sleep, sew more (how is Christmas next week?), and still cook (not as much, but a sista can multi-task).  Andrew and I were able to take our ‘holiday’ trip to Memphis the weekend of December 8th since it was the only time we both had off at the same time, and my mom, middle sister, nephew and newest niece came to Nashville to help celebrate my introduction to the third decade.  I turned 30 this past Monday.  I still feel crazy young.  It probably helps that I have no children, recently married a younger man, and just now began a legit, full-time profession (with healthcare benefits…what?!?).  So perhaps I am your average 23 year old…or 27 year old…depending on what culture and decade we have this conversation.  Either way, here’s to life, recognizing that it’s all-too short, and making the most of it.

My cousin owns a lakehouse about an hour southeast of Nashville and has generously allowed Andrew and I to retreat there for a few days in between our work schedules.  I brought my newest purchase from Parnassus Books, Mary Oliver’s New and Selected Poems, Volume Two, from which I read by a quiet lake. May we have eyes to see, ears to hear, and a mind to understand moments of peace and love.

lakeside poetry

Song of the Builders, by Mary Oliver

On a summer morning
I sat down
on a hillside
to think about God –

a worthy pastime.
Near me, I saw
a single cricket;
it was moving the grains of the hillside

this way and that way.
How great was its energy,
how humble its effort.
Let us hope

it will always be like this,
each of us going on
in our inexplicable ways
building the universe.

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One thought on “building the universe

  1. Hi Rebecca!
    Just stumbled across your old blog and found this. So good to see you are doing well. Congrats on finishing school and landing a “legit” job! Would love to catch up with you for coffee sometime and have you see Eleanor. She’s so big now!
    Take care –
    Rebecca K.

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